12:01 AM CDT on Friday, August 13, 2004

By RUBEN NAVARRETTE / The Dallas Morning News

When I said Democratic nominee John Kerry needed to find a way to connect with Latino voters, this is not what I had in mind. After all, the first rule of outreach is that it not be outrageous.

In a hokey attempt to help her husband score points with Mexican-American audiences, Teresa Heinz Kerry will now and then inform them that she's "an immigrant, too."

Yeah, and I'm Pancho Villa.

All this talk about how John F. Kerry wants to grow up to be John F. Kennedy, and here it's Teresa who sets out to lay claim to Mr. Kennedy's legacy of empathy. "Ich bin ein immigrant."

She used the ploy at least twice last month – at a Hispanic cultural center in Albuquerque, N.M., and, a week later, when speaking to Latino delegates at the Democratic convention.

Not that Ms. Heinz Kerry can't lay claim to the distinction. She is an immigrant. She was born in Mozambique, where her father was a doctor. She speaks Spanish – and four other languages. In fact, you could label her a Latina. But before you do, you might consider that in places like Central California – where I grew up – plenty of Portuguese people make it a point not to identify with Mexicans or other Latinos. "It's Gomes, not Gomez."

I doubt that anyone is buying it. At the New Mexico event, an Anglo reporter for a prestigious Eastern newspaper noted that, when Teresa played the immigrant card, some Mexican-Americans responded by shaking their heads.

That led the Anglo reporter (in a painful example of why hiring people of different backgrounds tends to improve coverage) to conclude that the audience's skepticism resulted from Mexican-Americans having misgivings about immigrants.

Actually, what this Mexican-American has misgivings about is a person – twice married to U.S. senators and whose personal assets are estimated to be worth close to $1 billion – trying to convince me that she can somehow empathize with people who are, every day in America, cheated, abused, exploited and otherwise preyed upon.

Here in Dallas, I've heard repeated allegations – from defense attorneys, civil rights organizations and victims – that traffic cops who pull over Mexican immigrants have a habit of pocketing whatever loose cash the immigrants have on hand. I bet people from Mexico were under the impression that sort of thing happened only in the country they left behind.

Do you suppose Teresa Heinz Kerry would be such easy pickings to corrupt cops?

Has the Queen of Ketchup ever had to worry about doing a hard day's work – in a Nebraska meatpacking plant or grape fields of California or a dairy in Wisconsin – and, when the work is done, learning that she's not getting paid? Has she any concept of what it's like to work as a maid or nanny and worry about being sexually harassed – or worse – by employers?

I'm guessing the answer is no. People like Ms. Heinz Kerry live in an alternate universe. It's one that bears no resemblance to the harsh reality that confronts most newcomers to this country.

All the more reason for Teresa Heinz Kerry to drop the immigrant shtick and – along with the entire Kerry-Edwards campaign – start talking to Latino voters about issues that matter to them: the economy, health care, jobs, the war, etc. Doing that would show something that's key to any successful outreach effort. Something more important than empathy. It's called respect.

Ruben Navarrette is an editorial columnist for The Dallas Morning News. His e-mail address is rnavarrette@dallasnews.com.